Thursday, December 2, 2010
Favorite new website
I came across this site from another blog I follow. Ineffably, Onenoteshort and I spent an obscene amount of time laughing our asses off at the awkwardness of auto correcting phones. Here are my two favorites so far...
Thursday, October 28, 2010
Monday, October 11, 2010
Sunday, September 26, 2010
I like where he's going with this....
I keep thinking I should write down my feelings on the whole gay marriage thing, but as of yet, I've never gotten around to organize my thoughts into a concise and logical statement of how I feel. I came across this though and really love that Dan Savage pointed out how marriage has evolved and changed into what is today called "traditional marriage". So, at some point, I'll get around to it. Until then, I will use this to express my thoughts and views.
Thursday, September 9, 2010
My third eye is blind...
It's a chakra reference y'all! Very proud of myself, it's been probably close to a year, but I made it back to yoga tonight. Thank god for Princess and going with me. It was a new instructor... she was filling in for my favorite one. She was pretty good. Kicked my ass in totally the best way. I loved it. Here's to many more nights feeling like this!
Monday, September 6, 2010
Monday, June 21, 2010
Portugal 7 - N. Korea 0... Ronaldo - Amazing
I just can't get enough of him....
Damn! Look at his smile!
This has to be one of the funniest goals in the history of the world cup
Just look at that ass!
I bet those legs go all the way up!
Tuesday, June 15, 2010
World Cup Tribute...
Gotta say I'm really digging soccer players at the moment.... mmmm
Cristiano Ronaldo (Portugal)
Landon Donovan (USA)
Carlos Bocanegra (USA)
Wednesday, June 2, 2010
Flamingo is back... in a limited sort of way...
And today's post is all about Flamingo's Crush of the Day...
CRISTIANO ROLANDO
Monday, February 15, 2010
Gone Fishing!
Flamingo isn't doing so well at keeping up on the whole blogging thing. So, until I get going with it again... I've gone fishing!
Thursday, January 21, 2010
Far and away
Not a lot going on at the moment... work-wise there is a lot going on in the next few weeks though. I've go the next month and a half where the longest I'll be home at any given time is a week or so... It'll be busy and crazy, but I do love the traveling and being onsite with clients.
And a really, really great, amazing, fan-fucking-tastic thing about two of the trips are that they are to San Antonio... where the weather is above freezing!
And a really, really great, amazing, fan-fucking-tastic thing about two of the trips are that they are to San Antonio... where the weather is above freezing!
Wednesday, January 13, 2010
West Wing Wednesday!
Popular and a few other friends (The boy from a few posts ago is coming too... so far the dating thing is going great and all!) are coming over for West Wing Wednesday tonight. I'm so excited... I can't even tell you how excited I am at watching on of my most favoritist shows ever with great people! Anyhow, in honor of tonight... I thought WE ALL deserved a West Wing post today!
A little back ground information is in order here... Simon (a.k.a. Special Agent Sunshine), C.J.'s special secret service agent, who was Anthony's Big Brother (Big Brother's program) was killed at the end of season 3. And to keep Anthony from going to jail for stealing a car, C.J. told the prosecutor she would find someone from the West Wing to play a role in Anthony's life...
C.J.
Anthony, I'm so sorry. Thank you for waiting. This thing came up at the last minute. A bomb at a swimming meet. You probably... I can take you home now. You probably saw it here on the television sets.
[He ignores her or turns away]
You know... I really miss Simon, too. That's... probably something we can talk about. I asked around today. I wasn't able to find anyone, but I'm not done. There are more people I'm asking tomorrow I'll take you home now.
[Anthony mumbles something]
I'm sorry?
ANTHONY
I said I don't need a baby-sitter, bitch. Are you deaf?
C.J.
I don't think you do need a baby-sitter...
Charlie who was walking by C.J.'s office overhears Anthony. Charlie walks into C.J.'s office, slams Anthony up against the wall and gets in his face.
ANTHONY
What the hell is the matter with you dawg?
CHARLIE
This is Ms. Cregg. She's the White House Press Secretary and senior counsel to the President. And if she wasn't, she would still be Ms. Cregg! I don't mind you not respecting people. I mind you doing it out loud. I mind you doing it in this building. You wanna be a punk, fine, but I don't think you've got the size for it.
You wanna go to juvey, get out, deal, and kill cops?
Okay, but every time you do a crime, you get caught, so I think you're gonna have to do something else. 9:00 on Saturday mornings, I eat breakfast at Cosmo's on Delaware. I come here for an hour and do office work, and then I go to St. Jude's for an hour to play basketball. You can go to juvey, or you can be at Cosmo's 9:00 on Saturday morning. It's entirely up to you.
Charlie releases Anthony and walks out of her office leaving C.J. and Anthony in the office alone.
C.J. Cregg, Charlie Young and Anthony.
A little back ground information is in order here... Simon (a.k.a. Special Agent Sunshine), C.J.'s special secret service agent, who was Anthony's Big Brother (Big Brother's program) was killed at the end of season 3. And to keep Anthony from going to jail for stealing a car, C.J. told the prosecutor she would find someone from the West Wing to play a role in Anthony's life...
C.J.
Anthony, I'm so sorry. Thank you for waiting. This thing came up at the last minute. A bomb at a swimming meet. You probably... I can take you home now. You probably saw it here on the television sets.
[He ignores her or turns away]
You know... I really miss Simon, too. That's... probably something we can talk about. I asked around today. I wasn't able to find anyone, but I'm not done. There are more people I'm asking tomorrow I'll take you home now.
[Anthony mumbles something]
I'm sorry?
ANTHONY
I said I don't need a baby-sitter, bitch. Are you deaf?
C.J.
I don't think you do need a baby-sitter...
Charlie who was walking by C.J.'s office overhears Anthony. Charlie walks into C.J.'s office, slams Anthony up against the wall and gets in his face.
ANTHONY
What the hell is the matter with you dawg?
CHARLIE
This is Ms. Cregg. She's the White House Press Secretary and senior counsel to the President. And if she wasn't, she would still be Ms. Cregg! I don't mind you not respecting people. I mind you doing it out loud. I mind you doing it in this building. You wanna be a punk, fine, but I don't think you've got the size for it.
You wanna go to juvey, get out, deal, and kill cops?
Okay, but every time you do a crime, you get caught, so I think you're gonna have to do something else. 9:00 on Saturday mornings, I eat breakfast at Cosmo's on Delaware. I come here for an hour and do office work, and then I go to St. Jude's for an hour to play basketball. You can go to juvey, or you can be at Cosmo's 9:00 on Saturday morning. It's entirely up to you.
Charlie releases Anthony and walks out of her office leaving C.J. and Anthony in the office alone.
C.J. Cregg, Charlie Young and Anthony.
20 Hours in America, part 2
Monday, January 11, 2010
Laughing, crying and a fake leg to boot
I'm not even sure how to start this post, but it stems from a discussion Ineffably I had sometime last week. And since it had Ineffably laughing so damn hard, I decided to share it here. So if any of my family comes across this, it's not meant as any disrespect to anyone but Shithead, and there I just don't care. I call it finding humor in an otherwise emotional and painful time in life. But seriously y'all... these are true stories! You can't make shit like this up. Well, at least I can't, my imagination isn't that good.
This conversation took place at work while Ineffably was flat on her back with her legs in the air... but it was all innocent, she was dying from back pains or something. And I honestly don't remember how we got on the topic, but I started telling her the sordid tell of my one-legged grandma (God rest her soul) who passed away some years ago while I was on my mission.
Let me preface the tale with this... I loved my grandma, she was the most amazing grandma who instilled in me my love for books and learning. She was also crazy. She was an alcoholic (in recovery I believe) and smoked like a chimney as well. Due to the smoking, drinking and adult-onset diabetes, she had her left leg amputated below the knee sometime in the 80's. I think the leg thing and diabetes put an end to her drinking days.
So, in early/mid 1997, she died from something related to a quadruple by-pass she'd had back in the 70's. Before I go any further, I need to introduce a few more members of my crazy family. First, there is Harry. Now Harry is not real name, but never once did I hear him referred to by his given name. He always went by a variation of his last name, but for story-telling purposes, we'll stick with Harry for now. Harry was my grandpa's sister's husband... so brother-in-law. Next we have a cousin of mine. His name is Shithead. Simple enough, it starts with the same letter as his real name, and he really is a shitty, shitty shithead. Those are the main characters in our tale, along with the recently deceased grandma.
Now, there are two tales here... we'll start with the one involving Harry and grandma. Harry would have been in his late to mid 60's at this time. Harry, his wife (grandpa's sister), grandma and grandpa were always very close. I remember hours and hours of playing cards and rehashing the old days and all. So, it was no surprise that Harry was asked to be one of the pall-bearers at grandma's funeral. And Harry, having lived a pretty hard life and being older, he had pretty bad knees. So, at the funeral, they asked Harry to be a pall-bearer along with some of the grandsons. The funeral director, had told the family that as a sign of respect, Harry would be placed at one of the front corners of the casket on the walk from the hearse to the grave. And the family, knowing the condition of Harry's knees, insisted that he be placed in the middle and Harry agreed and requested that this be done.
So, when they get to the cemetery, Mr. Funeral Director gets back on his horse about the whole respect issue and places Harry at the head of the casket on one of the corners. And so the go trudging off towards the grave. Now, as they carry the casket around the bottom of the grave and round the corner, Harry, being on the inside corner, well, yes, his knee gave out and he went down hard. And, but by the grace of God and a quick grab by grandma's former son-in-law (a.k.a. my dad), grandma would have taken an early trip six feet down in less than what you would consider an orderly and respectful fashion.
pause for laughter
And yes, Harry was devastated and took a lot of consoling. But look at it this way, knowing grandma as I knew her, she would have been the one laughing the longest and the hardest, were she not squished up in the corner of the casket.
And now, story #2.
Shithead and grandma had always, always had, what could only be called, an extremely fucking contentious relationship. There were a lot of times, that I'm pretty sure they just out and out hated each other. Well, as I mentioned above, grandma only had one leg. And she had a fake leg, that always, always creeped Shithead out. Can't say that I blame him, but it was part of grandma and just really didn't bug me overall I guess.
So, after the funeral, it was decided that instead of burying the leg with grandma, they would donate the leg to whatever kind of organization reuses old fake legs. So, my aunt, Shithead's mom was the one who brought the leg back from the hospital after grandma had died. Well, not thinking of it, they sent Shithead out to the car to get something and when Shithead opened the trunk... there was grandma's leg... staring at him (like fake legs tend to do). Pretty sure Shithead shit himself that day.
Then, Shithead's wife or ex-wife, not sure what she was at that point in time, was working at the local hospital and was going to take the leg in and give it to whoever dealt with the recycled fake leg program. Well, she propped it up one night behind the door in her house to remind her to take it into work the next day. Now, Shithead is and was a big time drinker. Barely functioning fucked up alcoholic type guy, you know. So one night, he's drunk off his ass and comes stumbling into the house. And it's right at that time that grandma's fake leg fell out from behind the door. To this day, Shithead is still convinced that grandma's fake leg is still haunting his sorry ass!
There you have it folks. The story of crashing grandma's funeral and the haunted fake leg. I don't know if you'll find it all that funny, just reading it, but it seems to get a few laughs (thank you Ineffably)... and so there you have it. I should probably add like a moral to this story or something like... Be nice to your one-legged grandmas or they she will fucking haunt your ass for the rest of her life with her crooked peg leg or something...
This conversation took place at work while Ineffably was flat on her back with her legs in the air... but it was all innocent, she was dying from back pains or something. And I honestly don't remember how we got on the topic, but I started telling her the sordid tell of my one-legged grandma (God rest her soul) who passed away some years ago while I was on my mission.
Let me preface the tale with this... I loved my grandma, she was the most amazing grandma who instilled in me my love for books and learning. She was also crazy. She was an alcoholic (in recovery I believe) and smoked like a chimney as well. Due to the smoking, drinking and adult-onset diabetes, she had her left leg amputated below the knee sometime in the 80's. I think the leg thing and diabetes put an end to her drinking days.
So, in early/mid 1997, she died from something related to a quadruple by-pass she'd had back in the 70's. Before I go any further, I need to introduce a few more members of my crazy family. First, there is Harry. Now Harry is not real name, but never once did I hear him referred to by his given name. He always went by a variation of his last name, but for story-telling purposes, we'll stick with Harry for now. Harry was my grandpa's sister's husband... so brother-in-law. Next we have a cousin of mine. His name is Shithead. Simple enough, it starts with the same letter as his real name, and he really is a shitty, shitty shithead. Those are the main characters in our tale, along with the recently deceased grandma.
Now, there are two tales here... we'll start with the one involving Harry and grandma. Harry would have been in his late to mid 60's at this time. Harry, his wife (grandpa's sister), grandma and grandpa were always very close. I remember hours and hours of playing cards and rehashing the old days and all. So, it was no surprise that Harry was asked to be one of the pall-bearers at grandma's funeral. And Harry, having lived a pretty hard life and being older, he had pretty bad knees. So, at the funeral, they asked Harry to be a pall-bearer along with some of the grandsons. The funeral director, had told the family that as a sign of respect, Harry would be placed at one of the front corners of the casket on the walk from the hearse to the grave. And the family, knowing the condition of Harry's knees, insisted that he be placed in the middle and Harry agreed and requested that this be done.
So, when they get to the cemetery, Mr. Funeral Director gets back on his horse about the whole respect issue and places Harry at the head of the casket on one of the corners. And so the go trudging off towards the grave. Now, as they carry the casket around the bottom of the grave and round the corner, Harry, being on the inside corner, well, yes, his knee gave out and he went down hard. And, but by the grace of God and a quick grab by grandma's former son-in-law (a.k.a. my dad), grandma would have taken an early trip six feet down in less than what you would consider an orderly and respectful fashion.
And yes, Harry was devastated and took a lot of consoling. But look at it this way, knowing grandma as I knew her, she would have been the one laughing the longest and the hardest, were she not squished up in the corner of the casket.
And now, story #2.
Shithead and grandma had always, always had, what could only be called, an extremely fucking contentious relationship. There were a lot of times, that I'm pretty sure they just out and out hated each other. Well, as I mentioned above, grandma only had one leg. And she had a fake leg, that always, always creeped Shithead out. Can't say that I blame him, but it was part of grandma and just really didn't bug me overall I guess.
So, after the funeral, it was decided that instead of burying the leg with grandma, they would donate the leg to whatever kind of organization reuses old fake legs. So, my aunt, Shithead's mom was the one who brought the leg back from the hospital after grandma had died. Well, not thinking of it, they sent Shithead out to the car to get something and when Shithead opened the trunk... there was grandma's leg... staring at him (like fake legs tend to do). Pretty sure Shithead shit himself that day.
Then, Shithead's wife or ex-wife, not sure what she was at that point in time, was working at the local hospital and was going to take the leg in and give it to whoever dealt with the recycled fake leg program. Well, she propped it up one night behind the door in her house to remind her to take it into work the next day. Now, Shithead is and was a big time drinker. Barely functioning fucked up alcoholic type guy, you know. So one night, he's drunk off his ass and comes stumbling into the house. And it's right at that time that grandma's fake leg fell out from behind the door. To this day, Shithead is still convinced that grandma's fake leg is still haunting his sorry ass!
There you have it folks. The story of crashing grandma's funeral and the haunted fake leg. I don't know if you'll find it all that funny, just reading it, but it seems to get a few laughs (thank you Ineffably)... and so there you have it. I should probably add like a moral to this story or something like... Be nice to your one-legged grandmas or they she will fucking haunt your ass for the rest of her life with her crooked peg leg or something...
Friday, January 8, 2010
And the country of the day is....
So...Portugal is now the sixth European nation to pass a law allowing same-sex marriage. Thank you Portugal for this! It's amazing to me that a country giving all of it's citizen's the same rights to marry has come so far in such a short amount of time. And at the same time, the world is such a big place with so far to go. But today, I'm just going to be happy for the steps that it has made forward!
Thursday, January 7, 2010
Hell Explained
I received this in an e-mail today and loved it so much I thought I'd share it with all y'all!
HELL EXPLAINED BY A CHEMISTRY STUDENT
The following is an actual question given on University of Arizona chemistry mid- term.
The answer by one student was so 'profound' that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well:
Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?
Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.
One student, however, wrote the following:
THIS STUDENT RECEIVED AN A+
The following is an actual question given on University of Arizona chemistry mid- term.
The answer by one student was so 'profound' that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well:
Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?
Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.
One student, however, wrote the following:
First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time.. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. There fore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today.
Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, w e can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.
This gives two possibilities:
1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.
2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.
So which is it?
If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, 'It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you,' and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct...... ...leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting
'Oh My God.'
Tuesday, January 5, 2010
As requested
This West Wing moment is brought to you by special request of Popular.
SAM
What are you doing?
AINSLEY
I’m going up to Smith College tomorrow.
SAM
Why?
AINSLEY
It’s my alma mater.
SAM
Reunion?
AINSLEY
No, the women’s studies department is having a panel on resurrecting the ERA.
SAM
Who else is on the panel?
AINSLEY
Rebecca Walker, Gloria Steinem, Anne Coulter, Naomi Wolf...
SAM
You know, something like 40 percent of all women oppose the ERA, and in my entire
lifetime, I’ve never met one of them.
AINSLEY
[extending hand] Ainsley Hayes, nice to meet you.
SAM
You’re not...
AINSLEY
Yes.
SAM
You’re not!
AINSLEY
Yes.
SAM
You’re not, you’re not, you’re not one of those people!
AINSLEY
Sam, if, by those people, you’re referring to Episcopalians...
SAM
You’re going back to Smith College, the cradle of feminism, to argue in opposition of the Equal Rights Amendment?
AINSLEY
And get some decent pizza, yeah.
SAM
They’re gonna hate you.
AINSLEY
Sam, I’m a straight Republican from North Carolina. You don’t think they hated me the first time around?
SAM
Yeah.
...
"Equality of rights under the law shall not be denied or abridged by the United States or any state on account of sex."
It’s not a joke. [sits]
AINSLEY
It’s the Equal Rights Amendment.
[smiles] It’s redundant.
AINSLEY
Look... [throws down her pencil and gets up]
SAM
It’s redundant?
AINSLEY
The 14th Amendment which says that a citizen of the United States is anyone that’s
born here... that's me... and that no citizen can be denied due process. I’m covered.
Make a law for somebody else.
...
SAM
You know, we should make a joke about women, 'cause there's no law against that or paying them less money than men.
AINSLEY
Well, there is a law against that. It’s the Pay Equity Act. It's passed in 1964, when women were making 59 cents to the dollar.
SAM
What are you making now?
AINSLEY
79 cents.
SAM
So, everything's fine.
AINSLEY
No, there are still some problems. But I’m not worried ‘cause the federal government’s coming to the rescue.
SAM
Look...
AINSLEY
You think pay disparity is ‘cause some sexist in human resources hired two people for equal positions and paid the man more?
SAM
Oftentimes...
AINSLEY
And oftentimes women make less money over the course of their lifetimes because they
choose to.
SAM
Oh, goodnight nurse! They don't choose to make less money. They're financially punished for having kids.
AINSLEY
They made a choice to have kids.
SAM
Well, not necessarily if you guys have your way, but that's a different can of tuna.
I flat-out guarantee you that if men were biologically responsible for procreation, there'd be paid family leave in every Fortune 500.
AINSLEY
Sam, if men were biologically responsible for procreation, they'd fall down and die at the first sonogram.
SAM
If the Amendment’s redundant, then what's your problem if it’s passed or not?
AINSLEY
Because I’m a Republican! Have we met? I believe that every time the federal government hands down a new law, it leaves for the rest of us a little less freedom. So I say, let’s just stick to the ones we absolutely need in order to have water come out of the faucet and our cars not stolen. That is my problem with passing a redundant law.
SAM
When I was downstairs, I made a decision. I’m gonna register with the Republican Party, and I’ll tell you why, if you’re curious. It’s because they’re a freedom-loving people.
AINSLEY
We also like beef.
SAM
You know, you insist government is depraved for not legislating against what we can see on the newsstands, or what we can see in an art exhibit, or what we can burn in protest, or which sex we’re allowed to have sex with, or a woman’s right to choose, but don't you dare try to regulate this deadly weapon I have concealed on me, for that would encroach against my freedom.
AINSLEY
Yeah? And Democrats believe in free speech as long as it isn’t prayer while you're
standing in school. You believe in the Freedom of Information Act except if you want to find out if your 14-year-old daughter’s had an abortion...
SAM
We believe in the ERA.
AINSLEY
Well, go get ‘em.
SAM
How can you have an objection to something that says...?
AINSLEY
Because it’s humiliating! A new amendment we vote on, declaring that I am equal under the law to a man. I am mortified to discover there’s reason to believe I wasn’t before. I am a citizen of this country. I am not a special subset in need of your protection. I do not have to have to have my rights handed down to me by a bunch of old, white men.
The same Article 14 that protects you, protects me. And I went to law school just to
make sure. And with that, I’m going back down to the mess, because I thought I may have seen, there, a peach. [leaves]
SAM
[to Larry and Ed] I could've countered that, but I’d already moved on to other things in my head.
Ainsley Hayes and Sam Seaborn discussing the Equal Rights Amendment. 17 People
SAM
What are you doing?
AINSLEY
I’m going up to Smith College tomorrow.
SAM
Why?
AINSLEY
It’s my alma mater.
SAM
Reunion?
AINSLEY
No, the women’s studies department is having a panel on resurrecting the ERA.
SAM
Who else is on the panel?
AINSLEY
Rebecca Walker, Gloria Steinem, Anne Coulter, Naomi Wolf...
SAM
You know, something like 40 percent of all women oppose the ERA, and in my entire
lifetime, I’ve never met one of them.
AINSLEY
[extending hand] Ainsley Hayes, nice to meet you.
SAM
You’re not...
AINSLEY
Yes.
SAM
You’re not!
AINSLEY
Yes.
SAM
You’re not, you’re not, you’re not one of those people!
AINSLEY
Sam, if, by those people, you’re referring to Episcopalians...
SAM
You’re going back to Smith College, the cradle of feminism, to argue in opposition of the Equal Rights Amendment?
AINSLEY
And get some decent pizza, yeah.
SAM
They’re gonna hate you.
AINSLEY
Sam, I’m a straight Republican from North Carolina. You don’t think they hated me the first time around?
SAM
Yeah.
...
"Equality of rights under the law shall not be denied or abridged by the United States or any state on account of sex."
It’s not a joke. [sits]
AINSLEY
It’s the Equal Rights Amendment.
[smiles] It’s redundant.
AINSLEY
Look... [throws down her pencil and gets up]
SAM
It’s redundant?
AINSLEY
The 14th Amendment which says that a citizen of the United States is anyone that’s
born here... that's me... and that no citizen can be denied due process. I’m covered.
Make a law for somebody else.
...
SAM
You know, we should make a joke about women, 'cause there's no law against that or paying them less money than men.
AINSLEY
Well, there is a law against that. It’s the Pay Equity Act. It's passed in 1964, when women were making 59 cents to the dollar.
SAM
What are you making now?
AINSLEY
79 cents.
SAM
So, everything's fine.
AINSLEY
No, there are still some problems. But I’m not worried ‘cause the federal government’s coming to the rescue.
SAM
Look...
AINSLEY
You think pay disparity is ‘cause some sexist in human resources hired two people for equal positions and paid the man more?
SAM
Oftentimes...
AINSLEY
And oftentimes women make less money over the course of their lifetimes because they
choose to.
SAM
Oh, goodnight nurse! They don't choose to make less money. They're financially punished for having kids.
AINSLEY
They made a choice to have kids.
SAM
Well, not necessarily if you guys have your way, but that's a different can of tuna.
I flat-out guarantee you that if men were biologically responsible for procreation, there'd be paid family leave in every Fortune 500.
AINSLEY
Sam, if men were biologically responsible for procreation, they'd fall down and die at the first sonogram.
SAM
If the Amendment’s redundant, then what's your problem if it’s passed or not?
AINSLEY
Because I’m a Republican! Have we met? I believe that every time the federal government hands down a new law, it leaves for the rest of us a little less freedom. So I say, let’s just stick to the ones we absolutely need in order to have water come out of the faucet and our cars not stolen. That is my problem with passing a redundant law.
SAM
When I was downstairs, I made a decision. I’m gonna register with the Republican Party, and I’ll tell you why, if you’re curious. It’s because they’re a freedom-loving people.
AINSLEY
We also like beef.
SAM
You know, you insist government is depraved for not legislating against what we can see on the newsstands, or what we can see in an art exhibit, or what we can burn in protest, or which sex we’re allowed to have sex with, or a woman’s right to choose, but don't you dare try to regulate this deadly weapon I have concealed on me, for that would encroach against my freedom.
AINSLEY
Yeah? And Democrats believe in free speech as long as it isn’t prayer while you're
standing in school. You believe in the Freedom of Information Act except if you want to find out if your 14-year-old daughter’s had an abortion...
SAM
We believe in the ERA.
AINSLEY
Well, go get ‘em.
SAM
How can you have an objection to something that says...?
AINSLEY
Because it’s humiliating! A new amendment we vote on, declaring that I am equal under the law to a man. I am mortified to discover there’s reason to believe I wasn’t before. I am a citizen of this country. I am not a special subset in need of your protection. I do not have to have to have my rights handed down to me by a bunch of old, white men.
The same Article 14 that protects you, protects me. And I went to law school just to
make sure. And with that, I’m going back down to the mess, because I thought I may have seen, there, a peach. [leaves]
SAM
[to Larry and Ed] I could've countered that, but I’d already moved on to other things in my head.
Ainsley Hayes and Sam Seaborn discussing the Equal Rights Amendment. 17 People
And here's to one hell of a new year!!!
Again, I'm awful at keeping up on my blog here. It's a new year, I should have all these great resolutions about life and about blogging and whatnot. And I do, I really do. I've posted about resolutions a million times (like here for example) so I'm not going to really go into that. I think I need to get really good at those resolutions before I start coming up with other ones.
I have been on a few dates with this one guy, and I think I kind of like him. And to be honest, I think he kind of likes me. We have fun and we laugh a lot. And for once, I'm not wondering where I stand with him. And honestly, that terrifies me! I'm fucking scared of dating and the fact that I might find someone who actually likes me and me him. How messed up is that? Oh well, I told him that I have dating hang ups/phobias and he is happy to go slow and work with me on not being mental about it...so bonus points for him!
Anyhow, there is a lot going on, had like 11 days off from Christmas until after the new year. I didn't do much, stayed home and loved it! Christmas was great, love the family even when they drive me beyond bananas and crazy. I was watching the West Wing last night, and since I haven't posted in awhile, and don't feel like doing the travel log of my staycation, I'm going to do a West Wing post...ha!
Ainsley Hayes to Celia (the temp), Charlie Young and Sam Seaborn on why Sam teasing her doesn't offend her and makes her feel like part of the team. Night Five
I have been on a few dates with this one guy, and I think I kind of like him. And to be honest, I think he kind of likes me. We have fun and we laugh a lot. And for once, I'm not wondering where I stand with him. And honestly, that terrifies me! I'm fucking scared of dating and the fact that I might find someone who actually likes me and me him. How messed up is that? Oh well, I told him that I have dating hang ups/phobias and he is happy to go slow and work with me on not being mental about it...so bonus points for him!
Anyhow, there is a lot going on, had like 11 days off from Christmas until after the new year. I didn't do much, stayed home and loved it! Christmas was great, love the family even when they drive me beyond bananas and crazy. I was watching the West Wing last night, and since I haven't posted in awhile, and don't feel like doing the travel log of my staycation, I'm going to do a West Wing post...ha!
And I think you think I'm made out of candy glass, Celia. If somebody says something that offends you, tell them, but all women don't have to think alike.
...
I like it when the guys tease me. It's an inadvertent show of respect that I'm on the team and I don't mind it when it gets sexual. And you know why? I like sex.
...
I don't think that whatever sexuality I may have diminishes my power. I think it enhances it.
...
He would be able to, but that isn't the point. The point is that sexual revolution tends to get in the way of actual revolution. Nonsense issues distract attention away from real ones: pay equity, child care, honest-to-God sexual harassment and in this case, a speech in front of the U.N. General Assembly. So, you, [to Sam] 25 percent on the assessments for Category A. You... [Charlie looks up.] I don't know what your thing is. [turns to Celia] And you, stop trying to take the fun out of my day. With that, I'm going to get a cupcake.
Ainsley Hayes to Celia (the temp), Charlie Young and Sam Seaborn on why Sam teasing her doesn't offend her and makes her feel like part of the team. Night Five
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