in this building, when the President stands, nobody sits

BARTLET
I'm sorry, um... you're Dr. Jenna Jacobs, right?

JENNA JACOBS
Yes, sir.

BARTLET
It's good to have you here.

JENNA JACOBS
Thank you.

BARTLET
The awesome impact of the airwaves and how that translates into the furthering of our national discussions but obviously also how it can... how it can...

He sighs, and addresses Jenna Jacobs again

BARTLET
Forgive me, Dr. Jacobs. Are you an M.D.?

JENNA JACOBS
Ph.D.

BARTLET
A Ph.D.?

JENNA JACOBS
Yes, sir.

BARTLET
In Psychology?

JENNA JACOBS
No sir.

BARTLET
Theology?

JENNA JACOBS
No.

BARTLET
Social work?

JENNA JACOBS
I have a Ph.D. in English Literature.

BARTLET
I'm asking, 'cause on your show, people call in for advice and you go by the name of
Dr. Jacobs on your show. And I didn't know if maybe your listeners were confused by that, and assumed you had advanced training in Psychology, Theology, or health care.

JENNA JACOBS
I don't believe they are confused, no sir.

BARTLET
Good. I like your show. I like how you call homosexuality an abomination.

JENNA JACOBS
I don't say homosexuality is an abomination, Mr. President. The Bible does.

BARTLET
Yes, it does. Leviticus.

JENNA JACOBS
18:22

BARTLET
Chapter and verse. I wanted to ask you a couple of questions while I had you here.
I'm interested in selling my youngest daughter into slavery as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. (small chuckles from the guests) She's a Georgetown sophomore, speaks fluent Italian, and always clears the table when it was her turn. What would a good price for her be? While thinking about that, can I ask another? My Chief of Staff, LeoO McGarry, insists on working on the Sabbath, Exodus 35:2, clearly says he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself or is it okay to call the police? Here's one that's really important, 'cause we've got a lot of sports fans in this town. Touching the skin of a dead pig makes us unclean, Leviticus 11:7. If they promise to wear gloves, can the Washington Redskins still play football? Can Notre Dame? Can West Point? Does the whole town really have to be together to stone my brother, John, for planting different crops side by side? Can I burn my mother in a small family gathering for wearing garments made from two different threads?

Think about those questions, would you? One last thing, while you may be mistaking this for your monthly meeting of the Ignorant Tightass Club, in this building, when the President stands, nobody sits.


President Bartlet to Jenna Jacobs The Midterms

Happy Thanksgiving!

For flowers that bloom about our feet;
For tender grass, so fresh, so sweet;
For song of bird, and hum of bee;
For all things fair we hear or see,
Father in heaven, we thank Thee!

-Ralph Waldo Emerson

Congratulations Real Salt Lake!!!

Congratulations Real Salt Lake!!!

Maybe next year instead of saying, "I should," I will make it out to a game. I'm not really any good at soccer, but I do enjoy going to the games.

Musical Mondays

As anyone who knows me, Flamingo, they can tell you how much of a fan of Mondays I am not. And this Monday in particular looked to be sucking the big one... complete with a Sunday evening dumping of this white nasty stuff in Utah we call evil white shit stuff snow. I haven't decided which is worse, the actual Monday morning, or the anticipation (but the scary unwanted kind) of it on Sunday night. Anyhow... last night, as Roommate and I were watching V (I need to blog on that topic sometimes soon). Yeah, watching V and loathing the all too soon arrival of Monday, my beloved iPhone buzzed me... I had an e-mail. And was so happy to see:



What was even better, was that even though it didn't say it in the e-mail, it told me that Shakira's new album was ready for download as well! Just in case you didn't know, I absolutely adore Shakira... she is the musical equivelant of Allison Janney in my world (just to put it into perspective for you Flamingo fans). Rihanna is also on my list of "girl" crushes. So I was pretty much was needing a towel after reading that e-mail.

So now, I'm the proud of honor of both She Wolf and Rated R. Now I haven't listened to them both fully and in depth yet... but I'm working my way through them, and so far I'm totally enamored. I'm loving Shakira's new stuff especially! Damn, I think I need another towel after just blogging about it... mmmmm!

Like ya do...

Annabeth (to CJ): "You want to emphatically deny something you have no problem with and make it publically clear this is a private matter?"

***

C.J.: "What are you — 4'10?"
Annabeth: "4'11."
C.J.: "I can't believe we're the same species."

C.J. Cregg and Annabeth Schott Faith Based Initiative

Hey Sam, this one might know something

I'd like to do well on this, my first assignment. Any advice you could give me that might point me the way of success would be, by me, appreciated.

Well, not speaking in iambic pentameter might be a step in the right direction.

Ainsley Hayes and Lionel Tribbey And It's Surely to Their Credit

Today's Random Wikipedia Post

Tramp

In British English and traditional American English usage, a tramp is a long term homeless person who travels from place to place as an itinerant vagrant, traditionally walking or hiking all year round.

While some tramps may do odd jobs from time to time, unlike other temporarily homeless people they do not seek out regular work and support themselves by other means such as begging or scavenging. This is in contrast to:

- bum, a stationary homeless person who does not work, and who begs or steals for a living in one place.
- hobo, a homeless person who travels from place to place looking for work, often by "freighthopping," illegally catching rides on freight trains
- Schnorrer, a Yiddish term for a person who travels from city to city begging.

Both terms, "tramp" and "hobo" (and the distinction between them), were in common use between the 1880s and the 1940s. Their populations and the usage of the terms increased during the Great Depression.

Like "hobo" and "bum," the word "tramp" is considered vulgar in American English usage, having been subsumed in more polite contexts by words such as "homeless person" or "vagrant." In colloquial American English, the word "tramp" can also mean a sexually promiscuous female or even prostitute.

Tramps used to be known euphemistically in England and Wales as "gentlemen of the road."

Reflections of Donnatella Moss

Thank you Popular! I have had such a good time reminiscing on my love for the West Wing and the people in it, that I just feel the need to share more and more of it here on Flamingo's Roost!

I'm a madwoman, CJ, and it doesn't stop with the leak... Call the authorities. Send them to my parents' house in Madison... They'll find the Lindbergh baby in the basement... Also some post-its reminding me where I put Jimmy Hoffa... I framed Roger Rabbit

Donna to C.J. Cregg Bad Moon Rising

Today's Random Wikipedia Post

Light-crowned Spinetail

The Light-crowned Spinetail (Cranioleuca albiceps) is a species of bird in the Furnariidae family. It is found in Bolivia and Peru. Its natural habitat is subtropical or tropical moist montanes.

I think I'd make an awesome Greek guy!

The fear of Friday the 13th is called paraskevidekatriaphobia, a word derived from the concatenation of the Greek words Paraskeví (Παρασκευή) (meaning Friday), and dekatreís (δεκατρείς) (meaning thirteen), attached to phobía (φοβία) (meaning fear).

But if I'm going to be the awesome Greek guy... maybe I should learn to speak Greek? Cause I sure as hell can't come close to pronouncing that word. Anyhow, I love useless knowledge like this (thank you Wikipedia... I LOVE you). I think I'll start a new posting section... Today's Random Wikipedia Fact... or something like that.

It's what's real on the inside that counts

I've always loved Dolly, but this just adds to how great I really think she is. If more people shared her views, how much better world would this be?

I just don't even know anymore...

Last night I had the weirdest, most random dream...

I'm sitting in the back seat of Princess's late 90's gold Toyota Corolla. I find this very odd, Princess does not own a late 90's gold Toyota Corolla, but alas, here I am in the back seat. Princess and the Zombie Queen are up front talking about something. I can hear them, but I have no idea what their conversation is about. We are driving through an abandoned shopping center parking lot. It looks to be just before sunset, but I can't be sure.

Across the street, there sits an older home. And for some reason, I know this house, it is familiar. I think I saw it on some ghost hunting show at some point. And I remember it was a total hotbed of paranormal activity.

Princess guns it in the late 90's gold Toyota Corolla (I just like saying it...). I notice that the driveway to said haunted house is covered in frost or a light dusting of snow. That is when he cranks the wheel to the left and we start sliding sideways down the driveway... passenger side first. I brace myself for the instant death I know is coming my way as soon as the car impacts with the garage.

The next thing I know, Princess, the Zombie Queen and I are in the late 90's gold Toyota Corolla sitting in the backyard of the haunted house. The garage is now gone, Princess demolished it without even scratching his late 90's gold Toyota Corolla.

We get out of the car, the back of the house looks gutted. The walls are nothing but 2x4 framing. There is one door that leads downstairs into what I can only assume would be the basement. At this point, we are joined by the Zombie Queen's hubby #1. I don't know what we are looking for, but I know it is located in the "Crystal Room". We walk down a long hall and find shallow containers with full on koi ponds in each one. There are probably 20 Rubbermaid koi ponds lining three of the four walls in the room.

As we walk along, the koi start jumping out of the Rubbermaid ponds and into the large central pond that I hadn't noticed before. Somehow, the whole room has morphed into a large koi pond. We trudge through the now knee deep fishy water towards the "Crystal Room" (it had a sign and everything).

And this is where I woke up. WTF goes through my head on a daily basis? Sleeping or awake, god I am so damned weird. And yes, this was random and made no sense at all to me either. But I posted it anyhow...

The Eyes Have It

I thought I'd add just a little more to the closing of C.J. Cregg week... what better way to celebrate this fabulous woman than by mentioning a smart, witty and hotter-than-hell co-worker of C.J.'s

I'll tell you what, let's forget about the fact that you're coming a little late to the party and embrace the idea that you showed up at all.

Mr. Willis of Ohio

No, honestly, I am dumb. Most of the time I'm playing smart

Six Meetings Before Lunch

Why does being gay mean you can't keep your hands to yourself? And with what kind of gentlemanly pride are the armed forces willing to lay claim to restraint in that area? You want me to go get the file on sexual harassment at the DoD? You want me to ask these guys about Tailhook

Let Bartlet Be Bartlet

I didn't want you to feel beholden to me. Like an episode of 'I Dream of Jeannie' where now you have to save my life or the time-space continuum -- or you follow me around with coconut oil and hot towels

In the Shadow of Two Gunmen, Part II

Fridays are great...but a C.J. Cregg week Friday kicks ass!!!

I'm drawing inspiration from the strength of the Goff family, the descendants of Hunter John and the owners and operators of the Goff family mill for more than two centuries now. In 1846, when Theodore Odie Goff was the proprietor, the mill burned to the ground. Well, that totally blows.

C.J. Cregg reading a brochure to Toby and Sam. Manchester Part I

So, since it's a C.J. Cregg week Friday, here's a little more for ya...

No, I didn't mean that you have no social skills, Toby. I'm sorry if you think I was being insensitive to your... I... I think you're very--You're a very pretty girl, Toby

The Long Goodbye

Don't be fooled, they love us in Orange County. They're crazy-go-nuts for the President, though really the whole Democratic Party in general. I think they really like it when we come to town. When we were there last month, we were working the crowd and some young boys worried possibly that I couldn't afford fruits and vegetables on a government salary tossed me some of their own.

The California 47th

I thought my reflexes before, in the press room, were catlike.

Evidence of Things Not Seen

She has a list. She made a list. Haven't lists gone out with Joe McCarthy and hula hoops?

Eppur Si Muove

"They made him say Hail Marys as they beat him to death. This was a crime of entertainment.... Beyond the crime itself is a manifestation of racism or sexism or anti-Semitism or homophobia that are only the tip of the iceberg of the pathology troubling this country.

In Excelsis Deo

First of all, you're wrong. Second of all, shut up. Third, I went to Hoynes about your thing, and it wasn't him who talked to you and I believe him, and now he's really pissed at me, and he's right. And fourth... shut up again.

Enemies

So that leaves us with the televised classroom, the green beans, the stamp, and, depending on who those people were that were standing near me, the possibility of a story about me being good in bed.

Galileo

Dad, this would be a good time to mention that it's possible that an Egyptian cat goddess named Bast has put an ancient curse on me.

The Stackhouse Filibuster

C.J. Cregg week continues

And as a special treat for our friend, Josh Lyman, who's recovering very nicely at G.W. The President's science advisors is telling us that psychics at Cal Tech and the Fermi National Accelerator Lab.....

You know what? I'm pretty sure that was supposed to be physicists.

C.J. Cregg during a White House Press briefing The Midterms

And a very happy C.J. Cregg week Hump Day to you!

Yes. I agree with her. [points to Amy] Look, they take this job away from me, I got nothing. I don't have a cat. I could get one, but I don't have one. Frankly, I'm not wild about cats. I don't hate them. I'm just not... I could learn to like them, I guess, if I...

C.J. Cregg to Abigail Bartlet, Donna Moss and Amy Gardener. Dead Irish Writers

C.J. Week .... Election Day!

Hartsfield has accurately predicted every Presidential election since William Howard Taft, who, by the way, was the founder of the seventh inning stretch where we sing Take Me out to the Ball Game, words and lyrics by Jack Norworth and Albert Von Tilzer. It's all part of the service here at Claudia's House of Useless Knowledge. That's a full lid. Thank you very much.

C.J. Cregg to the White House Press Corps. Hartsfield's Landing

C.J. Cregg week!!!

In honor of Election Day, on November 3, 2009, Popular and I are dedicating this week to all things C.J. Cregg.

When I came in here, back in the late 50's, there was a purpose to it, but then one thing led to another and I blacked out. I mean, I can hang in there with the best of them, sir, but somewhere in the discussion of anise and coreander and the other 15 spices you like to use to baste a turkey, I simply lost consciousness.

C.J. Cregg to President Bartlet The Indians in the Lobby

So this time I'm serious! ...I think

So, Flamingo here has been having something of a minor mental break down as of late. And so after a great little "come to Jesus" meeting with a friend the other day, I've decided I need to make some changes. And I've probably typed it before, but I will again... If you write it down/type it, you will do better at sticking to it... so here goes:

1. I will develop and maintain a more positive attitude.

2. I will not complain (as much or as often...come on now, can't just stop it completely)

3. I will not be overly sensitive! Not every action by those around my is intended to hurt, demoralize or kill me... (only some of them are)

4. I will take better care of myself, physically and emotionally.

5. I WILL go to the gym 3 - 5 times a week. (and not just half ass it...)

6. I will ask for help when I need it. (not just expect everyone else to psychically know that I need it)

7. I will love myself regardless of anything that happens.

8. I will eat better ...
> I am totally doing Ineffably's low carb detox/diet thing. I'll put up a seperate post if you're interested.

9. I will not be so fucking needy! Okay, I will learn to control it and not show it, even if it's killing me inside, so as not to scare off any potentials out there...

10. I will post more resolutions as I work and develop them in my new Flamingoness.

So there it is, my New Year's resolutions in November (if people can have Christmas in July, I can have New Year's resolutions in November). So, those of you who really know me, like in real life, just not via the internet... feel free to add any constructive (not destructive) criticism that you think will help me on this path to better myself. Loves ya!