In response to the flaccidity...

So in response to Brando's post...it's called roboporn for a reason!!! And yes, while I may be of the non-hetero persuasion, I can and totally do appreciate the Megan Fox slow-mo breast bounce. So I guess it's not just roboporn....



And I'll agree 100%...the story line left A LOT to be desired...but I didn't go to see an Oscar-caliber performance of anything...I went to see giant robots pound the f*ck out of each other...and boy oh boy did they...so to all you critics out there...SUCK IT!!!

Finally!!!

Delta/Northwest finally got my luggage back to me, finally!

If this Flamingo could but grow wings and fly...

Holy shit!!! I have heard travel horror stories from friends, co-workers and other people that travel for work, but until you've gone through one of your own...it doesn't even become fathomable.

So, I was in Vermont this past week for work. God, it is so beautiful up there. I love Utah, I really do...but seeing some of these other places just takes your breath away. Anyhow, I was supposed to catch my flight home Friday at 3:59 p.m. Around 10:30 a.m. I just happened to check my work e-mail and had this e-mail...

We are trying to contact you because our flight has cancelled. We have rebooked you on the best available flight and we'll keep trying to reach you by phone. Please review the information for new flight numbers, departure and arrival times.

Well, first off, I only have one phone # listed on my account with Delta, and they sure as hell had not called me. They wanted to book me on a 6:00 a.m. flight for the following day (today). That so was not going to work...so I called them. The first lady I spoke with was absolutely and completely useless. Granted, I was a bit worked up, but I didn't call her names or swear or anything (yay me!) But she was not offering any help. She wasn't giving me any options, just kept telling me "We have no control over the weather and flights cancelled due to it".

What I really needed was someone to book me a flight to get me home that same day! Not make me stay another night (at my own expense mind you...well, work's expense...but still). So, I asked to speak to a supervisor...and honestly, I'm not sure what she said...something like they don't have supervisors but she would get me another rep or something...she didn't really speak all that ledgible of English (I could go off on a whole diatribe of getting people with clear and understandable English to work on phones and drives thrus and stuff).

So Delta rep #2, she was amazing. I told her what was going on, and what I needed (which was to get home on Friday). So she looked up available flights and came back and asked me how soon I could be to the airport. She had me on a 12:30 p.m. flight to Detroit, then to Minneapolis and then on to Salt Lake City. A lot of stops, but it would get me home when I needed to be there (I had a family thing on Saturday that was not missable). So, I bid farewell to my new friends/clients in Vermont and want to say thank you for being so great and understand my need to get home right then.

So, needless to say, I had not yet refilled the rental car's tank. But did all of that and returned it with just a little time to spare. Now here's were the fun gets even more fun! The Delta/Northwest rep in Burlington, checked me in, and gave me my boarding pass. Which only had one destination on it, Detroit. So, since I was already past TSA security and there were no reps, I ended up calling Delta's 800 # to verify I was going to be making it to SLC, and they assured me that even though my boarding pass only said Detroit, I would be making it home.

When I got me seat assignment at the gate, it did print out both Detroit and Minneapolis on my boarding pass...so, getting closer. When I landed in Detroit, I only had 10 minutes to go from a gate on the A concourse to a gate on the C concourse, which is forever away. And I think the people that built the tunnel connecting the concourses were high when they designed/built them.

So, I made it and then was off to Minneaplois. I got in around 4:00 p.m. local time and saw that my SLC flight didn't leave until 9:40 p.m. So I checked to see if they could get me on an earlier flight...like the 6:40 p.m. And yes! there was an available seat and they booked me on it. I asked two different reps if my checked luggage would make it onto the same flight I was, or if it would come in on the flight I was originally booked on. I was assured it would be on the earlier flight. Either on was fine, I would be home and not in immediate need of the contents of my bag. No problem I though...WRONG!!!

So, made it to SLC, about an hour later than were supposed to land, because of weather and whatnot. Then, went to deplane, and the ramp agent who was supposed to get the jetway up to the door of the plane went on break or something. So there were 50 something passangers standing in the aisle for 15 minutes while we waited for someone to bring the ramp up to the plane. At that point, I think we were all ready to take our chances and just jump from the door of the aircraft to the ramp.

So, by the time I got to the baggage claim, I realized my checked bag was not there. Fine, no problem, they can deliver it or I can pick it up on Saturday. Alas, it was not meant to be. It looks like the dip-shit agent in Vermont only checked my baggage as far as Minneapolis...dumb bitch. Still wasn't too worried though. Until today, it's now Saturday, almost a full 24 hours later, and my bag is STILL IN MINNEAPOLIS! Goddamn it! Now I am getting pissed. Yes, it's only "stuff" but it's my stuff. And I don't want and really can't afford to go out buy all new dress clothes and cute undies that I had in the suit case. So...now it's wait and see. I'll keep you updated, and get some other posts up about my time in Vermont. Except for a shitty travel day, I've had an amazing past two weeks out on the road working with clients and all. Gotta say, all in all, I love my job!

I think I need a cigarette after this dessert...

So...out here in Vermont...good ole Vermont. I seriously love this place! Came to a local restaurant called "Friendly's". And here at Friendly's you can get a "Happy Ending Sunday" to top off your meal. How can you not fall in love with a place that will give you dinner AND a happy ending. So yeah...the food wasn't the greatest, and the service totally sucked (they say there were short staffed that night)...but what the hell, I got a happy ending!

So I took a picture of the actual menu, but I only had my phone with me and the picture didn't turn out the greatest...so thank Buddah and the baby Jesus for the internet and downloadable menus!

A few Vermont pics...

A few West Virginia pics...

Say what you will about West Virginia, but the scenery is so green, hilly, tree covered and just beautiful. And the people that I worked with out there were some of the nicest, friendliest I have come across!!!

Between a rock and not so hard place....

Flew home from West Virginia last night, via Pittsburgh (the city of no gas stations). And on the last leg of my trip from Cincinnati to Salt Lake City, I was sitting in the window seat between the window (obviously) and what had to be one of the largest, loudest breathing human beings I have ever come across. I'm a fan of the arm rest down between my seat and anyone else's...but, when the other person's girth that requires the seat belt extention prevents the arm rest from being employed, what do you do? Here's what I did, I pressed myself so hard into the window that i still have the outline impressed on the left side of my body. I know weight is a touchy issue and not everyone (me included) can easily control theirs. But for gods sake! 4 hours trapped in a smaller than usual airplane seat is not how to make Flamingo a fan of larger people on planes. Oh, and the kicker, I think he had sleep apnea or something and kept falling asleep and slumping over on me!!! How do you say, "Sir, please get your overly large self off of me?!?"

Has Pittsburgh gone green?

True story...driving back to Pittsburgh to catch my flight home. Went to fill up the rental car and 6 freeway exits, 30 miles of residential/country-ish roads and 45 minutes later, finally found a damn gas station!

Your wake-up call, sir

So...here it is midnight, on the east coast. I'm back east for work this week (and yes...I know I'm way behind, like a month on my blog). And BAM! f'ing fire alarm goes off in my hotel.

So, middle of the night, and a full on hotel evacuation! Actually smelled a little smoke on the way down the stairs...but apparently it wasn't anything really. Because about half out and three fire engines (two from the 1920's) later, they let us back into our rooms with no explanation of anything...I think I'll be pressing for more info when I check out in the morning!

Umbrella's are no match for city buses...

Picture this, West Virginia, 2009. Beautiful but rainy morning. Walking the block from my hotel to work. Using my new handy-dandy little umbrella and keeping relatively dry. Dry that was, until I had me a Sex and the City moment and a city bus drove by and, no joke, covered my from shoulder to toe in dirty water that had previously been pooling on the street....I love my job!

Productivity at it's best

I know! It's been forever and a week since I've posted on here...and good god, I am sooo sorry. It's not been for a lack of things going on, no not that. It's the fact that I'm a lazy son-of-a-bitch most days. So here goes...it'll probably be a long, boring and redundant post, but feel free to not read deal with it and keep reading! So to make it a little easier, I'll break it down for you and you can read it in parts...

Week 1 (May 25-31)
This was my glorious week off of work. A whole damn week! Actually, longer than a week, because I took Friday, the 22nd off too! I didn't go anywhere, but I don't think I've ever been so damned productive in my life in any non-working one week period. What did I do you ask? Well, sit back dear reader, pour yourself a drink and read on. Ha! Hell, at least I make myself laugh, that's worth something, right?

You can look at the pictures of my previous post and see a good deal of what kept me so busy this particular week. Yes, my garden! I'm a freak about my garden, or is it just that I'm a freak in general...hmmm

I had already planted to plants previously...but this week off I cleared a bit more of the weeds that had completely overrun the garden area (this was done by the previous owner of the back 40 (the huge plot of back yard/garden area that Roommate bought from the neighbor behind us). But this week, I re-organized the spacing of some of the plants. Made sure to get all of the tomato cages in place and took out the stupid cinder block stepping stones that are/were a temporary path through the garden so no one steps on my damned plants! (I do admit...there are still a couple of cinder block stepping stones because Home Depot didn't have enough of the flag stones we needed to finish up the path). Roommate and I also spent a shitload of time trying to fix the sprinklers so that the grass and more importantly, my garden and flowers, don't die while I'm away for work (Roommate will be gone for like a week and half of the week I'll be gone, but honestly, he'd probably forget to water them and they'd die even if he was there).

My other big deal of this week was a trip to Ikea. I had a bookcase in my room that I just wasn't feeling anymore. So, I went to Ikea to get some shelves...and these are the ones I fell in love with and bought, stained and hung! God damn I'm good! I also fell in love with this little table to use as bedside tables. They are very simple, no drawers or anything...but still...I bought two of them, but then was only able to fit one next to my bed...oh well, at least I got one of them in place!

And then, since my shelves and table were a black/brown color, I decided I needed to stain my big ass entertainment center/amour/TV cabinet thing black/brown as well. That was like 12 projects rolled into one. It's is a large piece of furniture! Big! Huge! Roommate and I had to empty it (and I found out I'd been storing a lot of stuff in it), and then move it out into the back yard. No easy feat, but we succeeded. And thank you Roommate for helping move that even though you were on or very near your death bed!

But after getting it moved and all that, I stained it with like 12 coats to get it the black/brown color I wanted. Now granted, the shelves are black, but seem to have an interesting highlight color, the tables are black with a brown undertone...and the big ass entertainment center/amour/TV cabinet has it's own black/brown color...so they are all a little different, but similar enough to look amazing (yeah, I'll admit it, I stroke my own ego at times). Now, if the big ass entertainment center/amour/TV cabinet would just dry! It's been in the garage for over a week and a half and feels dry, but if you run your hand down it...it comes off black...I think it's all the humidity and rain we've been having stopping it from curing.

My next addition/want for my new black/brown color scheme for my room is this desk from Target. Little by little, I'm getting there!

So...that was week one, week two coming soon!