Monday Mournings

It's been awhile since I've let loose on a bitch fest, and since I'm in a bit of a mood tonight, I thought I'd bring it back for one more go around.

I could have just as easily called this post "why bother" but since it is Monday...I'll stick with what I've got up there.

I've recently had a few experiences with people that have left me somewhat bewildered and shaking my head. I've been single for a very, very long time. And most of the time, I'm pretty okay with it. I've got some of the most amazing friends in the world. A roommate that I could happily spend the rest of my life living with (it's like we married...the no sex part and everything). And I have a family that I love more than anything, even though they drive me pretty much bonkers at all times.

But there are times that I start to want that something more that you find in a companion of a romantic nature. So occasionally, I reach out and test the waters. For there being a lot of fish in the sea, I don't ever seem to find any that are biting. I'll admit I'm not the best when it comes to telling someone I'm not particularly intersted, but it is something I am trying to be better at when it does become necessary. But why, oh why, do people have such a hard time with it. Why do they feel the need to say "yeah, sure, I'd love to get together again" but actually have not intention of it. Is it just me, or would most people rather a quick slap in the face of "I'm just not interested in you in that way (or any way)" instead of a long slow drawn out hacking off of a limb with a butter knife?

Yeah, I told you I was in a bit of a mood. People are really just getting to me again. In the dating/relationship area in particular. Here are a couple of recent examples....

"I'm sorry, I'm just not ready to date yet" (then they are all but "married" two days later)

"You are such a sweet guy, a nice guy, but..." (I f*ing hate the "but")!

Yeah, there are more, but I think I'm looking pathetic enough as is....

I know, I'll be over this self-pity thing in a day or two, but I guess I just needed to unload a bit. Maybe some of the assholes involved in the above situations will come across this and realize that people are affected by your fuck-headedness...guess I have a bit of the ole passive-agressiveness peaking out tonight...sorry...but not really!

Oh ye of no self-control

ME: I can't stop eating these M&M's!

INEFFABLE: Maybe it's because you bought them and so you feel entitled?

ME: Why did you let them buy ME?!?

INEFFABLE: I'm pretty sure you've lost it.

Getting there, inch by inch...

"Well Princess, it's about damn time you made it to yoga!" Princess has been sick for what I would conservatively call, forever, and has been unable to make it to yoga. Something about needing to be able to breath or something. I don't know, it's not just you Princess, but lately, I think I hear like every third word just about anyone says...

"Blah blah yoga blah blah dying blah blah need to breath blah blah

Anyhow, I'm happy you're back. If you don't know, I love the time I do get to spend with you, even if it is relatively little time and it's usually when we both have our bodies twisted into what could generously be called a demented pretzle.

So yeah, been doing pretty good on making it to yoga. And holy hell! I'm seeing improvements. Mostly pretty small ones, but enough to see them. I talked about this with Thursday last week at after the class she taught. I still have shitty balance most of the time, but, if I topple over one less time every third class, I'm happy.

Went to Monday's class last night. And maybe it's because she buttered me up before class by complimenting me on my yoga mat (which I love btw...) But it was a great class last night. Maybe it's just me, but I felt like she went through a lot more poses, and yes, there was some repetition, but there was a lot more variation in it as well. And she also added my most favorite pose of all time (even though I can only sometimes do it), crow. And not only did we do it once, but she had us do it twice!!!

God, I love feeling something of a sense of accomplishment in some aspect of my usually lazy-ass life!

Speed Dating 2010

(http://www.foundshit.com/peek-a-boo-x-ray/)

Just a thought...how many of us have thought "I just wish (Insert Name Here) could really get to know me, see the person I am on the inside, and then he/she would fall madly in love with me" or something to that effect. What if we all posted x-ray or MRI pictures on all of our billion of social networking or dating sites. Skip the "getting to know you" phase and go right for the "what's on the inside" phase? Just a thought...

Orange. Orange, banana. Orange, banana, pickle...

So, been doing good on the yoga thing. Twice last week and once this week (so far...I have high expectations). Princess was sick last night, and had a date or something last Thursday, so didn't go with me either of those nights. So the face that I still got up off my lazy ass and went speaks volumes of good things about me.

Anyhow, I have mentioned before that Monday isn't my most favorite of the instructors. Granted, last week and this week, Monday was better than the first time I attended her yoga class. So, I have to say that improvement on her part is definitely there. Now, that being said...there are a few things I would like to point out about Monday's classes...first, she doesn't give the actual Sanskrit name of the poses like Thursday and most of the other instructors do. She might throw one in there once in awhile, but not too often. Granted, I rarely remember the Sanskrit name and the actual pose, but I like hearing it and am hopeful I'll catch on eventually.

Second, she's a bazillion times better at yoga then I will ever be, no doubt about that. But, ability to do doesn't always translate into ability to teach well. I'm not trying to sound critical, even though it is coming across that way. Like I said, I am liking Monday's class more and more each time I go.

But, third and final point...and this is the one that I have the biggest "point" (I'm looking to avoid the words complaint or criticism) is that the past two classes (and even the first one I went to months ago) feel like that game we used to play in elementary. I think it was a memory exercise or something. You know the one. The one where I say a word or do an action. Then you repeat my word or action and then add one of your own. And still a third person repeats my word or action and then yours and then adds one of their own. And this repeats through the group until you have brain overload or something. There are hundreds if not thousands of yoga poses...all I'm sayin' is that we could stand a little more variations on Mondays.

I think you forgot something

Driving back to work from lunch today, sitting at a stop light I look to my right and up at the giant black Dodge pickup in the next lane over. Driver was a barely-old-enough-to-drive looking guy. Normally I would have wondered what he was compensating for with that gianormous truck, but my attention was quickly grabbed by the hot pink thong pair of panties hanging from the rear-view mirror. I've seen people hang a lot of different shit from the mirror, but a thong? Seriously, a hot pink thong... This is where I find my brain is capable of multi-tasking when it shoots off in a million directions of thought all at once... Some of the thoughts were:

Were they recently worn?

Did he take them right off of her/him (the owner) and hang them up?

Did he find them later and decide to advertise his conquest by displaying his thong trophy?

Did she/he (the owner) give them to him?

Did she/he (the owner) know they were missing?

This kind of reminds me of clip from one of my favorite shows, The West Wing. In season 7 of the West Wing, the Communications Director, Will Bailey, and the Deputy National Security Advisor, Kate Harper, hooked up in one episode and then in the next....

WILL
Hi.

KATE
Hi.

WILL
I have a thing of yours.

KATE
My Pyongyang book, good. I tore up my whole office looking for it.

WILL
It’s not that.

KATE
Really?

WILL
Really.

KATE
It’s in a blue binder. It may not be...

WILL
Nothing in a blue binder.

KATE
Are you sure? I mean, picking it out...

WILL
It’s a bra.

KATE
Oh, okay.

WILL
I put it in a padded envelope, which seemed appropriate.

KATE
Really?

WILL
You want it now?

KATE
No! No. Yes? [pause] It’s in your office?

WILL
It is.

KATE
You keep it.

WILL
Permanently?

KATE
Mail it to me. Your home address is my home address.

WILL
You don’t think that’s a little complicated?

KATE
It is, isn’t it?

WILL
I’ll hang on to it until we...

KATE
Okay.

WILL
We’ll get better at this.

So, now that I've rambled incoherently...here's my question...how do you leave some one's house, hotel room, car, or whatnot and fail to notice that you forgot your underwear and/or bra?

Monday Mournings (Tuesday Edition)

You know those nights, the ones where you don't really sleep the best. And then you look at the clock and it's like an hour or so before your alarm is going to go off. So you decide to give it one more shot to get another hour of sleep before your day is off and running. So why is it that for that entire hour, I can't fall asleep until the last f'ing 10 minutes? And why is it that those last 10 minutes are some of the damn best sleeping you've ever had? Only to be shattered by the dream killing sounds of an alarm clock (or cell phone alarm in my case)....