I'm sitting here listening and already I've turned to a life of crime....

Did you hear the one about Sarah Palin? So apparently she was being investigated by the Alaskan legislature for "allegedly" abusing her powers as governor. She is being investigated for firing the guy who wouldn't fire her ex-brother-in-law (a state trooper or something). Yeah, I'm a little vague on the details, because I'm going to go out on a limb here and make the assumption that your head isn't in the sand and you've heard about this.

So anyhow, her cronies up in Alaska tried to get the state supreme court up there to block a report of the findings in the case. Didn't work...the courts didn't stop it. The report was scheduled to be released last Friday, October 10th. So you know what she did, right? The McCain-Palin war machine...errr...campaign decided to release it's own report on Thursday, October 9th.

Guess what? The McCain-Palin "report" cleared her of all wrong doing. She did not misuse her gubernatorial powers to get back at the guy who wouldn't carry out her person vendettas. What was that now? Her completely and totally unbiased and not at all self-preserving-interested staff said she didn't do it. THANK GOD! I am so glad that they did this. Because now I can know with 100 percent certainty that she did do it. Thank you, thank you to the staffers for all the hard work and time you put into this work of fiction...errr...report.

Now, I'd like to patent this next idea, if you can do that. If I, or anyone for that matter, am every accused of a crime or misdeeds, there is no need for a trial. I'll just get my friends, family, or if I'm in a position of power and authority, the people who work for me and paychecks depend on me, I'll just get them to go out, research the fact, hold a trial and/or write a report, that again is totally reliable and unbiased, that will clear me or whoever of all suspicions as to my doings or whatever.

It's perfect, I have just saved the American tax-payers the expense of a judge, prosecutor, courtroom, court recorder, bailiffs, jury, and all of those other money consuming entities of the American legal system.

Oh wait, you're telling me this won't work...damn...guess it's only good for those of us who are running for the second highest political office in the nation...damn, damn, damn...I thought we lived in the land of the free and the just. Yeah, I about fell out of my chair laughing at that one too!