Have a Beary Fairy Christmas!

So, when does it become acceptable to back-hand a stranger's kid? How about when you are standing in line for over an hour at the damn build your own teddy bear place and people let their !$&#ing kids run wild? Now, I realize, kids are kids and standing still when you are in a long-ass line is virtually impossible. However, letting your kids REPEATEDLY jostle, push, shove and generally abuse the other people standing in line around you, well, frankly, I think that just crosses the line. It also might be not as much of an issue if the parents of said hell spawn made even the vaguest attempt at controlling their demon offspring. BUT THEY DON'T!!! They don't even acknowledge the fact that their kid has basically committed felony battery upon a fellow human being. At least I had the decorum to maintain myself and not back-hand the child or parent...thank god that self-control impulse kicks in every great once-in-awhile!

Now that I've gotten that off my chest (I'm down to a large D-cup side of complaints mind you)...a very good friend of mine told me all he wanted for Christmas was a hug. Well, this guy has had just one hell of a year. Family medical problems have pretty much been the bane of his existence. All of that on top of working full time, sometimes two or three 14-hour shifts a week as well as going to school full-time. Sometimes (often time), I get frustrated with him because he doesn't seem to 'make' the time to hang out or get together. I just want him to know (if he reads this), that even though I don't always show it, that I understand and appreciate everything he is doing, and that I am so very proud of him. Love your guts to pieces! So, for this, I braved the hell-spawn infested bear factory to make this for him. I'm not always there to give him a hug when he needs one, so I hope this little fairy bear can fill in when he needs one and there is no one there to give him one. He should also know that inside this little cuddle (not big and muscley) bear there a little purple (as opposed to the red or red-white checkered) heart buried in it's synthetic material stuffed chest. And I had to do some damn embarrassing things as part of the assembly process. It involved kissing the heart, rubbing it on my head and there may have been turning in circles three times as well as wish-making during all of this. You bet your ass I must love you or something!

So...now that the bear is stuffed and filled...you've gotta dress it. Do I go with the scrubs (since he's going into the medical field)? No. Do I go with an outfit that in someway shape or form connects to his life in a reasonable, easily discerned way? Oh hell no! What do I pick? A god-damn fairy outfit. Why you may ask...because it's for one of my most favorite fairies in the world!

Frog legs anyone?

So, now that I'm not travelling for a month or two, I thought I'd look into getting Chuck a new friend for his tank in at the office. He's seemed pretty down and somewhat depressed (if my fish psychology is correct) So Friday, I was out shopping with my mom, and decided to stop in at one of the national pet store chains near my house.

I asked one of the oh-so-knowledgeable sales associates where I would find the aquatic frogs. So he pointed me in the general direction of a tank about half-way down the row of tanks. So, as I'm looking in this tank, I see no less than eight, yes eight, frogs laying belly-up on the bottom of the tank.

When the other oh-so-knowledgeable sales associate comes over and asks me if I am interested in purchasing a frog, I point out that most of the visible frogs in the tank are DEAD, he proceeds to stick his hand, up to the elbow in the water and pokes several of the frog corpses. Guess what, they didn't move...surprise, surprise!

He then lifts a rock and a dozen or so live frogs scatter throughout the tank. At this point he asks, "How many frogs would you like?" Needless to say, I'd rather not buy a frog that comes from a tank full of DEAD frogs. I think I'll just wait until the non-national chain pet store I originally bought Chuck and the late Ed from gets more frogs in stock.

The Marriage Argument...

I really try not to get too political or anything when I write these entries. Partially, because I know what I believe and what I support, but I don't always do the best at explaining that to other people. And I'm not big on confrontation, which seems to be what happens when people who have different belief systems come together and 'discuss' topics such as politics, religion, gay rights, etc. But I came across these couple of items and just had to share them. Take away from them what you will, but for me, I think they really lay it out very well. I don't think I've ever really heard anyone put it in such a rational and common-sense argument, without getting over-heated, as Jon Stewart did here. Thank you Jon!

The Daily Show With Jon StewartM - Th 11p / 10c

Mike Huckabee Pt. 2

Barack Obama Interview
John McCain Interview

Sarah Palin Video
Funny Election Video

Newsweek also had a really great article about the whole bible aspect of the religious argument against gay marriage, and you can read it here

Trains, planes and grackles

So, lately, my life has become extremely boring or perhaps I am just failing to find the humor in it (which is most likely the case).

I spent last week in Lubbock Texas for work. This trip was a lot more laid back. No 16 hour days there. I was just doing training with an existing client and so only had to work the hours they were open. I met some really great people working down there too. All-in-all, it was a really great trip...for the most part.

I was more than just a little shocked that it was colder there than it was here in Salt Lake City. I was in Texas for god's sake! But no...all my life, I'd been living with the misconception of Texas being warm. Another fun feature of Texas (both Corpus Christi and Lubbock) is the grackle. Grackles are these evil demon-souled birds that I encountered in Texas.

There is never just a few of these birds. Every time I've seen them, they were massed in the hundreds if not thousands. These are the birds that at a squirrel while a few of us watched in horror. Okay, so maybe they didn't 'eat' the squirrel, but they sure as hell tormented the poor thing. On Staples Road in Corpus Christi, they would line the power lines for blocks. Solid lines of birds that just when on and on. In Lubbock, they again massed in the hundreds in the tree right out side of my hotel window. And these birds are LOUD! And let's not even get into what my car looked like after the grackles were done with it...let's just not.

I had quite the experience on the flight from Houston to Salt Lake City last Friday as part of this trip. I was flying on an ERJ-145 (see below). It's a smaller commuter jet that seats around 60 or so. It''s got an interesting seat layout. There is one row of seats on one side of the plane, and then two rows across the isle. Anyhow, somewhere over New Mexico or Colorado or somewhere, the plane started falling apart.

Luckily...it was the inside of the plane. Now, I'd rather it not fall apart at all, mind you, but at least if it's one of the panels below the overhead storage bins falling off, the plane most likely is going to be just fine and stay airborne. It made for something of an entertaining flight anyhow.

So...that and getting my Christmas shopping done last weekend has pretty much been my life for the past couple of weeks. I'll try to do better with keeping up on posts here and hopefully they'll be a bit more entertaining and not so blah...

Happy Thanksgiving!!!

To all the turkeys in my life...I couldn't ask for a better rafter (group of turkeys) of family and friends to make my life what it is!!!

And I almost forgot...

While in Corpus Christi, we stayed in the hotel next to where the singer Selena was killed. No joke, my room was just across a parking lot. You can read a friend/co-workers blog about it here

Also, I learned Ineffably is a great driver who kept turning into the wrong buiding/driveways because according to here...."I was pretty sure I wasn't paying attention.

And every time we'd tell someone were we were staying...they'd tell us they were in the worst area of town and all about the hookers that we were basically living with. One of our last nights there...driving home, I'm pretty damn sure we saw several of the hookers stuffed in trunks of cars. But we only saw it because there had to have been at least 3 different cop/hooker busts going on while driving down Leopard street there in Corpus...

Hummers belong in the bedroom, not on the side of the road

As you may or may not have noticed...it's been neigh on a month now since I have added to this, my blog. I'd like to say there was a profound reason...but mostly just laziness and lack of motivation...not for a lack of stuff to blog about, just a total lack of motivation...so to all y'all, I profoundly apologize.

So...here's a brief synopsis of the past month...

I flew out to Corpus Chrisi, Texas for work on Saturday, November 1st. When my ride to the airport came and picked me up...she inadvertantly backed into someone's Hummer parked across the street. Now, that in and of itself was bad enough. But the reaction of the owner was pretty off the chart. Now..this little hatchback bumped into the tire of this monster SUV. No damage whatsoever...but the owner completely flew off the handle. So, after getting out of their, we hit a bitch of a traffic jam on the freeway. Needless to say, I barely made it to the airport in time to meet up with Ineffiably to grab a bite at the BK and then get on the plane.

I then spent the next week or so working 16 hour days...holy hell...I thought I was going to die. Thank god I had Ineffably to keep me entertained with adventures in the cobalt. And apparently, every order of chicken strips comes with gravy in Texas. We found this out when we didn't answer the girl at Jack in the Box's question fast enough and she repeated her question of "Would you like GRAVY with that?!?" in tones akin to the engines of a Boeing 747 at take off.

Birds in Corpus Christi are pretty much creepy and unnatural to say the least. Watching out of the window where we were working, we saw a flock of birds pretty much kick the shit out of some poor unfortunate squirrel.

I did get to see some really cool things down there. Like the Saturday night we went out to the bar and saw 20 or so marines in full dress uniform....I loves me a man (or men) in uniform! Also, got the chance to tour the U.S.S. Lexington. It's a WWII era aircraft carrier permantly docked in Corpus and had been turned into a museum. Also, the SciFi channel show "Ghost Hunters" filmed an episode on there. Pretty cool if you as me, I love that paranormal stuff. Dunno if there is anything really out there...but I'm not doubting it to be sure. The infermary still smelled like an old gross hospital too.

But I've been back in good ol' Salt Lake City for a little over a week now. I love the travelling, but it's rough being gone for so long. There were a lot of people and things (people mostly) that I missed here.

I think today, I'm going to go and buy a new frog. Chuck is looking pretty lonely there all by himself. I'll keep you updated...